I’m giving a lover knuckle dusters next week

and I’m trying to come up with a nice intro.

• “Your god has sent me to tell you you need to punch someone in the throat tonight.”
• “I bought this for myself but I think it would be nice if I’d just give you this as an unbirthday present. It’s not that I think you need this. Wanna test if it’s working?” (shows him my left jaw)
• “You, wearing this, would make Arnold S. look like a guppy.” (scratches my nose)
• “You need a new toothbrush.”

• Play Eye of The Tiger on my iPod.

I don’t think any of these would make a good one but oh well, if I screw this up then I’d just kiss him on the cheek.

<3